Reflections on turning 50

I recently had a milestone birthday, the dreaded five-oh. Except, I don’t dread 50. I am excited!

A few of my closest friends surprised me with dinner at the restaurant in the Prague TV tower. It was a great way to enter a new era. The amazing views and fantastic food were not comparable to spending such a special time with wonderful friends. I am so glad to have a tribe who holds me close when times are tough, makes me laugh so hard, and just lives life with me. I do not take it for granted.

A few years ago, I would have shrunk from the word 50. It was a fearful thing to me. But this year has been one of tremendous growth and I am accepting my age with open arms. I am looking forward to this new decade and all it promises. How blessed I am to have made it this far and I can’t wait to wade in the waters of what is next.

A few things I am coming to terms with:

I love the woman I am becoming. If you told me 10 years ago (or even 5) that I would be where I am today, I would have laughed. I mean, who would have thought that I would still be living in Prague, in senior leadership for an international ministry, and traveling throughout Europe for my job. I am embracing this new stage in my life and am realizing that I have so much to offer. I am also recognizing how some of the hardest things in my life have prepared me for this moment. I wouldn’t be where I am today if they hadn’t happened.

I have so much to be thankful for. I know this sounds a bit cliched, but it is true. I have a wonderful support system, a job I love, a platform to express myself creatively, and so much more. I am grateful for both the hard times and the good times and how they have shaped me.

My age doesn’t define me. Fifty is really only a number. I feel so much younger, but I also enjoy the self-confidence (usually) that comes with age. But no matter how old I am or feel, I have so much to offer and so much left to learn. Sometimes, I struggle to even feel like an adult. I mean, I should have my stuff together by now. I asked my mom years ago how old she was when she felt like a grown-up. She told me she has never truly felt that way. And that was a real eye-opener, we never feel like we have arrived. But I will never stop trying.

My word for 2020 is open. I have allowed so many new things into my life because I have intentionally kept an open mind. I began writing this year after taking a long break. I started a blog. I am open to new experiences, and where that could lead me. This new mindset has helped me say yes to so many things that I would have been too timid to try otherwise. Because of this openness, I am not fearful of my fifties but am casting my arms out wide, ready to see what this new season brings. Don’t be afraid of the future, friends. Run to it!

Please read these other blog posts about fear from some fellow hope*writers:

https://louvaria.com/how-to-help-kids-with-anxiety-and-fear/ How to Help Kids with Anxiety and Fear by Ashley Olivine

Does Fear Have a Place in the Life of a Christian? by Regina Marcazzo-Skarka https://reginamarcazzoskarka.wordpress.com/?p=90

Living Fearless by Sharla Hallett www.sharlahallett.com/living-fearless/

Why I am So Scared by Amy Cobb https://www.tayloredintent.com/blog/why-am-i-so-scared

When Hidden Fear Creeps Our by Dianne Vielhuber https://simplewordsoffaith.com/2021/10/31/when-hidden-fear-creeps-out/